Government Bailout

George Carlin: I don't own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt.

Gilbert at 24 Hours

Congratulations to the Adams family.

Fortune: There is no greater pleasure than seeing your loved ones prosper.

Forty is Fabulous

Friends, food, drink, the beach, a bonfire and shhhhh...skinny dipping.

Fortune: Idleness is the holiday of fools

Maine store's ape found in Vermont

By Associated Press
September 09, 2008 8:59 AM
EAST MACHIAS, Maine — A stolen mechanical gorilla that was a fixture outside a flea market store in Maine has been located two states away in Vermont.
Lowell Miller realized over the Labor Day weekend that his 8-foot-tall gorilla dubbed "Seemore" had been stolen from Sandy's Sales in East Machias. This week, Vermont State Police discovered Seemore in a corn field after a video confession surfaced on Youtube.com.
The video shows the hooded abductor with a sock puppet on his hand first demanding ransom, then apologizing for causing a flap.
The video appeared in response to a video posted by the gorilla's creator, Ken Booth from the Gorilla Robot Factory in Akron, Ohio.

Fortune: Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise and balance.

8-foot mechanical ape stolen from Maine store

By Associated Press
September 03, 2008 9:51 AM
EAST MACHIAS, Maine — A giant gorilla that's been a longtime fixture outside a flea market store in East Machias has gone missing and its owner is asking that the mechanical ape be returned, no questions asked.
Lowell Miller didn't realize that his gorilla had been stolen from Sandy's Sales on U.S. 1 until closing time Sunday. Miller thought his clerk had wheeled the ape inside, and the clerk thought Miller had.
Miller said he was amazed that anyone would steal such a heavy object. Valued at about $1,500, it has a cement platform and is equipped with motors that turn the gorilla sideways and make its arms go up and down.
State police have put out an all-points-bulletin on the primate, which they suspect may be holed up in some college students' apartment.
Information from The Bangor Daily News

Fortune: Listen to the wisdom of the old.

Spring

Fortune: Good clothes open many doors. Go shopping.

Men Seeking Women

handy man plus -
Reply to: pers-71317xxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-09, 8:25AM EDT
ladies.....tired of the same old fantasy? we are a team of highly skilled carpenters who are in great shape and love to work with our shirts off just fo you. we do it all from the smallest of jobs to whole house remodels. you will love our attention to detail.

RetroElvis in town visiting looking to meet someone. - 38
Reply to: pers-7131xxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-09, 7:36AM EDT

In town for the "Ultimate Elvis Tribute Artist Competition" in Boston June 9-17th and would love to spend some time with an intelligent and gorgious woman during my stay here. I have just separated from my wife of 13 years and would really love to meet someone willing to have some fun and show me Boston. I am really a down to earth guy that doesn't get all wrapped up in myself just beautiful woman! In case you are interested visit my RetroElvis on the web and see if I am worthy of your loving hands.

Fortune: A rare source of pleasure will be revealed to you.

Walkin' Home

Fortune: Your reputation is your wealth.

I dunno

From the Portsmouth Herald:
Maine resident seeks wife, offers cash reward

By Deborah McDermott
May 20, 2008 2:48 PM
WELLS, Maine — Are you a female between the ages of 23 and 43, an outdoor type with a sense of humor, and looking for love? And, oh yes, could you use $5,000?
Charles Haeberle could be looking for you.
The 39-year-old Key West transplant has been in Maine for six years, hoping to meet Ms. Right. "I dated a few girls here and there. They were very nice, but they weren’t THE girl. I’m just searching for what everyone’s searching for — a girl I can spend the rest of my life with."
Now he’s ready to put his money where is heart is. Haeberle, a Wells resident and general manager of the Lodge at Kennebunk, took out an ad last week in The York Weekly offering $5,000 to the woman he marries.
Actually, he will pay $400 after the fourth successful date, $1,100 at the engagement and $3,500 at the wedding."
Everybody needs money and I have money, so I figured what the heck," said Haeberle. "I know it sounds silly. But really, it costs no more than it costs for an online dating service. And I haven’t had much luck with them. So I figured why not cut out the middle man?"
Haeberle came to Maine at the urging of his mother, who, as the ad states, told him, "Go to Maine. You will find a nice girl."
"When I first moved here, where did she send me but Ogunquit," he said with a laugh, referring to the fact that many gay and lesbian people vacation there. After going to a couple of different bars, "I said, 'Mom, I don’t think this is where I belong.’"
He said he loves Maine and has grown very fond of his adopted home."
If you live somewhere else in the country, the rumor is that people from Maine and New England are stand-offish and cold. I realized once I lived here that Mainers started that rumor so people won’t move here," he said. "It’s not true. It’s a very warm and accepting place. The people are so nice. But it is cold."
He said after several years of getting nowhere on the dating scene, three years ago he wrote a poem about his "perfect girl" that he put in a local paper, but he didn’t include a way for anyone to reach him. "
Maybe I watched (the movie) 'Message in a Bottle’ too much," he said. "I actually put the poem in the bottle and threw it in the ocean. I never heard back from anyone."
He describes himself as 5-feet, 9-inches tall, weighing less than 190 pounds. "I am not Brad Pitt but I am not the elephant man, either," he wrote in his ad. He travels widely, and he’s physically active, hiking, kayaking, whitewater rafting and such.
What kind of person is he looking for?"
She has to laugh, because I like to make things funny all the time. She has to love to travel. No grandmother or on the verge of becoming one. But she either want kids or has them. I really want a family. She has to love restaurants and I have two dogs, so she has to like dogs," he said.
He said he knows offering a reward for a future wife is a bit odd, but he said he doesn’t know what else to do. "I don’t drink, so I don’t go to bars very often. And I’ve been to churches, but I haven’t had luck there, either," he said.
"This is my way of being proactive. I know there are so many nice girls who are lonely just like I am," he said.
According to his ad, he already has a four-carat engagement ring, "and I even have our one-year anniversary gift."
So far, the York Weekly ad has only generated four responses. He also put the ad on Craigslist, and is having more success there, although "we’re just in the e-mail stage now."
He said if this latest effort doesn’t work, he’ll probably leave Maine. "I love Maine, but I can’t stand this 15 feet of snow without my soul mate," he said.
Interested? Haeberle’s e-mail address is Thetraveller207@yahoo.com.

This seems wrong. Or hillbilly.

Fortune: The love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly!

Dental Hygentist - m4w (Portsmouth )

Reply to: pers-6747xxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-09, 7:34PM EDT
Are all Dental Hygentists completely crazy, insecure and insane?

No, but the people who think they are hygentists are.


Does everyone else thinks Cardinals are following them, or is it just me?
Every time I go outside the Cardinals start chirping and landing nearby.
Even when I come inside they're hanging out on the porch.
Maybe they want me to fill up the bird feeder...

Rotten

It only took a few hours, but I did manage to replace the rotten board underneath the back door. When I sat down, I thought it would go quickly. After 30 minutes I was wondering what I'd gotten myself into and perhaps I was highly under qualified for the job.

Before

At this point, I was really wishing someone hadn't built the stoop in front of that board.

Later, I was annoyed when I saw I was not going to be able to pull out these nails with my hammer. Thank goodness for pliers.

Phew. I finally got it all out.

Before I started, I cut off a piece of the gray painted wood, which was blocking the place where I needed to slide in the new board. I ended up buying a chisel 'cuz I still couldn't slide the board in. I had to get it around another piece of decking.

Getting the new board in was not easy, either. I really had to whack it. Bonus: I've been trying for days to set my watch back to regular time. I somehow switched it to military time awhile ago and I have no idea how I did it. No idea how to undo it. While contorting myself in all sorts of strange positions to get the old board out, I sat on my watch, which I was not wearing, and my butt cheek managed to fix it! Cool.
Fortune: Put your mind into planning today. Look into the future.

Attracted to my Hygenist - m4w - 40

Reply to: pers-6719xxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-07, 5:14PM EDTI
doubt you will read this but just wanted to let you know that I think your gorgeous and I have a hard time maintaining my thoughts when we are together. I keep imagining that as you are over me and doing an exam you lower your face mask and plant a nice long slow kiss on me.Your married and I am married but would love to meet for lunch or something if you are interested. I am not sure if you feel the same way about me or your just doing your job but I thought I would give this a shot. Maybe the thought of finding someone attractive after rooting around in their mouth for an hour or so is beyond imagination but I have been thinking about this for a long time now and this is one way for me to find out. I don't want this to get weird or anything and I do not want to leave my wife so don't worry about that. If you are interested please write me back and tell me something about myself that we have talked about recently and we can take it from there. You work in Dover and are very sexxxxyy : )
Have a great day Gorgeous

YMCA

YMCA Parking Lot - Porsmouth - Saturday - m4w - 41
Reply to: pers-66xxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-05, 5:29PM EDT
Last Saturday, May 3rd, the pool was closing at the YMCA- it was about 3:10, or 3:15. I was standing in the locker room door of the Men's room, in my shorts, with no top - waiting for my little son to come back from the front desk. You were coming down the hall and stopped to wait for one of your kids (I think). We just kind of looked at each other. You were wearing jeans, black/brown clogs, you have long, slim legs, brown hair.. you are very beautiful. I would guess mid thirties.. something like that. As for me... I got dressed, and when I went to the Parking Lot, it looked like your husband was waiting for you to get into a mini-van. I think you had a Dalmation out in the Parking Lot, and it was sniffing around. You were waiting for the dog, it was starting to drizzle. As I got into my car, you walked back toward the mini-van, and you waved at me, as i was starting the car and pulling out with my little boy in the back. I waved back... knowing that with your husband there, I couldn't strike up a full blown conversation. I am divorced.. and couldn't take my eyes off of you... you are lovely. You waved, and I understand people wave and just say hello - I am not making more of it than that... but I wanted you to know that I thought you were so lovely, I just could not take my eyes off of you. I would never tire of looking at you. You belong to someone else.. but if you didn't... well.. I can dream can't I? If you see this, you can write and say hello. I'll withhold all the passionnate words I wish to say, because hey, what's the use?

Hey, what's the use of asking her to write and say hello? Keep your top on. Sheesh.

Fortune: The best times of your life have not yet been lived.

New and Improved

Remember the first project? Done.

Before

After

Kind of a tough angle to get a good shot. If only I was about 10 feet taller. It's hard to tell the old roofing shingles are beige. But it is obvious they were a mess, no? The shingles were peeling up to the left of the chimney. Thank goodness there were two layers of shingles or I might have had a bunch of leaks. There was only leakage around the chimney flashing. Last night I confidently removed the towel in the attic wrapped around the chimney. I almost can't wait for it to rain! It will not leak. It will not leak.

My neighbors-to-the-right put up a fence while the roof was going up. I'm glad to have the privacy. Next on the agenda is figuring out the overhang for the back door (the roofer does carpentry too) and some gardening. I need to move at least one plant that looks out of place with the new fence. I also want to do something about this:

This is out back. Ho hum driveway area. Only about two to three feet beyond the railroad ties is my property (in line where the forsythia is - to the right). First step is to get rid of the wood and rotten railroad ties. I may leave the one to the right. I want to find a shade lovin', low maintenance ground covering. And it's gotta be easy to rake as you can see a lot of leaves end up back there/are always there. I'm thinking Forget-Me-Not or Purple Wintercreeper. Or a huge fence.

Fortune: Working out the kinks today will make for a better tomorrow.

Tourism Saves a Laotian City but Saps Its Buddhist Spirit

“Here they come! Here they come!” a tour guide cries over his loudspeaker. “Hurry! Hurry!” The monks appear, a column of bright orange robes as far as the eye can see, walking quickly and silently with their begging bowls. The tourists cluster around them with their cameras and reach out to hand them food.

Anyone read this story in Tuesday's New York Times?

I started to but haven't had time to finish it. (Yet I have time to blog. Go figure.)

The photo disgusts me. I imagine tourist coming to my town (which they do) lining up to snap shots of us locals like we were rare birds. Ick.

By SETH MYDANS
Published: April 15, 2008
LUANG PRABANG, Laos — As the sky grows light along the Mekong River here, it is no longer the quiet footfalls of Buddhist monks that herald the day but the jostling and chattering of hundreds of tourists who have come to watch them on their morning rounds.
Luang Prabang, a place of mists and temples in the mountains of central Laos, was until recently one of the last pristine remnants of traditional culture in a region that is rapidly leaving its past behind.
Today, Luang Prabang displays preservation’s paradox. It has saved itself from modern development by packaging itself for tourists, but in the process has lost much of its character, authenticity and cultural significance.
Like some similar places around the world, this small 700-year-old city of fewer than 20,000 people is being transformed into a replica of itself: its dwellings into guest houses, restaurants, souvenir shops and massage parlors; its rituals into shows for tourists.
“Now we see the safari,” said Nithakhong Somsanith, an artist and embroiderer who works to preserve traditional arts. “They come in buses. They look at the monks the same as a monkey, a buffalo. It is theater.”
The Buddhist heart of Luang Prabang — the tranquillity that attracts visitors from abroad — is being defiled, he said, adding, “Now the monks have no space to meditate, no space for quiet.”
Luang Prabang was chosen as a World Heritage Site in 1995 by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, or Unesco, which determined that its architectural ensemble was culturally significant and worthy of protection by the United Nations.
Its strict guidelines on renovation and new construction have helped preserve the narrow streets, small structures and relatively light traffic of a past era. No tall buildings mar the cityscape.
“The problem is that they took care of the hardware but not the software, the culture,” said Gilles Vautrin, a restaurant owner from France who has lived here for nearly a decade.
“The city is being gentrified,” he said. “It will be a museum city. It will be a hotel city. Maybe the tourists will like it, but it won’t be the same Luang Prabang.”
The morning scene of monks seeking alms is spectacular, a seemingly unending procession that includes the occupants of the city’s 34 temples.
But as they walk down the main street, Sisavangvong Road, they must thread their way through crowds of tourists and food vendors who call out their price, “Dollar! Dollar!”
Looking straight ahead, the monks pass Pizza Luang Prabang, Pack Luck Liquor, Walkman Village, German Ice Cream, Café des Arts Restaurant and Bakery, Khmu Spa and Massage and Tatmor Restaurant n’ Bar.
The scene may be jarring, said Rik Ponne, a program specialist with Unesco in Bangkok, but “it is not a complete disaster.”
“This is a very interesting moment in time in Luang Prabang, when we have probably reached the carrying capacity,” he said. “It is a question of whether the Lao government is willing to make policy decisions about maybe limiting tourism on the site or limiting its impact.”
That would be a difficult choice in one of the poorest countries in Asia, where tourism is a major source of foreign exchange.
But if steps are not taken to control the changes, Unesco warned in 1994, Luang Prabang could become “another tourist town where soft-drink billboards dominate the landscape, where the sound of tour buses drowns out the soft temple prayers, and where the city’s residents are reduced to the roles of bit-players in a cultural theme park.”
Already the core of the city is losing its population as development drives up prices and local residents move away, leasing their homes as guest houses and restaurants.
“You cannot find people living in houses like family,” said Vilath Inthasen, 25, a native of Luang Prabang who is a manager at Couleur Café. “Now we start to live outside the city.”
Mr. Vilath spent eight years as a monk here and, like many others, he used his time in the temple to prepare for what has become the city’s only industry.
“If you are a monk, you can learn English and go into tourism,” he said. “Most of the people who work in restaurants are former monks.”
Traditionally, young men in Laos become monks for several months or years before returning to life outside the monasteries.
While the tourism brings jobs and money, he said, it disrupts the way of life he grew up with.
“I am afraid our culture will start to disappear,” he said over the sound of a buzz saw next door. “Now bars can stay open until midnight. Normally we don’t do this in Laos.”
This loss of culture is critical because Luang Prabang is not simply an architectural monument, like the temples at Angkor in Cambodia.
“There is nothing really outstanding in Luang Prabang,” said Laurent A. Rampon, the former chief architect and director of the cultural preservation office here.
“When you look at the architecture, it is interesting but normal, very normal; the temples are a little bit rough, not refined,” said Mr. Rampon, who is now an independent architect and consultant to the city.
“What is really interesting in Luang Prabang is all that together,” he said. “It is the ambience of the city, the daily life, the temples and the monks. In Luang Prabang, when the ambience is gone, it will not be Luang Prabang any more.”
As in Vietnam, Cambodia and Myanmar, decades of war and repression held back the development that is now despoiling cities and historical sites.
A poor, landlocked nation with a population today of 6.5 million, Laos was a battleground during the Vietnam War and its aftermath and has been isolated from the world economy since then by a Communist government.
Tourist brochures describe Luang Prabang as a place where “time stood still”; poverty and hardship have allowed the past to linger.
“The paradox is that Unesco gives out the Heritage Site label partly to reduce poverty, but reducing poverty is reducing heritage,” Mr. Rampon said. “If you want to preserve heritage, you must keep poverty.”

I can't help but correlate this to what is happening in Portsmouth now (on a certain level).
All the new construction -and so much more on the way- when buildings and retail shops have sat vacant for years. They want to beautify the gateways into the city (Islington and Market Streets) - not for residents' benefit, but obviously to draw in more tourists (and their beautiful money). Anything more than landscaping will be too much.
We need affordable housing, planning board people. We want to buy homes in town. We want to shop at useful stores in town.

Banananananananana

Yeehaw!
Sorry. Private joke between me and the boyfriend.
(He's the only one who reads this blog anyhow.)

This is the last banana from that gawd awful green bunch I bought last Monday the 7th.

Fortune: With a little more hard work, your creativity takes you to great heights!

Listen

Can you hear the peepers?

Green Bananas...

I don't like 'em!

I'm starting to even things out.
I ran this morning and yesterday morning. Not that I ran the whole measly 2 miles I set out to run. I did a good bit of walking. Kittery is hilly. Especially right at the start of my run. Amazing what taking the winter, fall and most of the summer off will do to a body.
I think I have some kind of nasal drip/phlegm problem as well. Since the weekend, I've woken up with my throat feeling all scratchy. It's how it felt when I would smoke a few cigs while out drankin'. You know how some people sleep eat? I think it's called Nocturnal Sleep-Eating Disorder or Nocturnal Eating Syndrome or I'm So Hungry I Eat In My Sleep Disease. I think I have that, only I'm smoking in my sleep instead of eating.
Good golly! I hope I'm not sleep smoking in bed. That could be dangerous. (Wait a minute... Don't I want to be smokin' in bed, boyfriend? Oh no. I guess I'm getting confused with being smokin' hot in bed...)
Yeah, so -the sleep eaters eat the food they have in the house, but I don't have any smoking materials in the house... Am I going down to the corner store and buying the cigs and smoking the whole pack each night? Cuz then I'd be sleep shopping, too. And if I'm not sleep walking to the store, I'm sleep driving. I might not even be sleep smoking cigarettes! What if I'm sleep smoking the pot? Holy crap! This is getting pretty serious.
Maybe it's just a cold. Anyhow, whatever it is, it's making running a lot harder. I nearly died going up the that first hill - both mornings. It was tough.

I've also been toying with a new collage idea. I've started but not gotten very far. Butt even a little art is better than none. (And sometimes a bigger butt is better than none.)
Sneak peak:

The Eiffel Tower reminds me of lady legs with stockings on...

Fortune: You are cautious in showing your true self to others.

Uneven

Like this tile floor, I'm feeling uneven. I think it's mostly work. I know there are other things, too - lack of exercise, no time spent making art, not enough time outside.
I'm not happy at work. I'm so glad I don't have a doofus for a boss anymore. Daily I'm grateful I don't have to deal with that idiot of an ex-boss. New boss is good -real good, but tells me more than I need to know. So much so, I feel like I'm not sure what the truth is. Am I a good employee? Is upper management pleased with my work? Or am I not working hard enough? Do I need to improve?
I know the field I'm in is not one I want to stay in, regardless of whether upper management wants me to advance (or not). I want to get back into a creative environment. I want to work with hardworking open minded people. I also want to ride my bike or walk to work.

Fortune: Look forward to great fortune and a new lease on life.

Before & After

Why someone put so much sealer along the edge, I don't know. But it's been bugging me for 2 and a half years. Looks better now.

Fortune: Your winsome smile will be your sure protection.

Dishwasher Upgrade

Before: the beige dishwasher in a kitchen of white appliances.
The upgrade: the white dishwasher.
Nope, I didn't waste my money buying a new one (I hardly ever use the dw). I found white paintable magnetic sheets (MSI ProMAG - $9.99 each). Cool. I only needed two. I also bought some paint, which I did not use. The magnetic sheets seemed like the sure bet (no drips, no smell, no worries). I did have to cut the sheets (hah - I said 'cut the sheet') but they were very easy to cut. I'm not a good cutter, though. Luckily, I was able to hide the rough cut sides under the black plastic panel of the dishwasher.

I'm so happy. Utter domestic bliss.

Fortune: Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.

The Crocus

The pic is not very bright, but can you see the one crocus bud?

When my friend and I got to revamping this garden bed, is was well past spring. We dug out a bunch of weeds and violets. I was worried we dug up the crocuses and tulips, too. Nothing to fear - I see many crocus and tulip sprouts.

Fortune: Speak only well of people and you need never whisper.

What to do...

I definitely need to put a new roof on my cottage this year, but then what? I'd like to put down some kind of wood flooring in the kitchen. I'm not 100% thrilled with the current beige tiled floor a previous owner put down.

I'm not crazy about the counter top color either, but it's in okay shape and it does add a nice bit of color. Course, a new floor might change that... I want to paint the that darned beige dishwasher, too. (Is that easy to do?) The fridge and stove are white. Hmm, a new fridge would be nice, but it can wait until the current one bites the dust.

I like the slate/slate-like floor in the bathroom, but it's not in the best shape. A couple of tiles are loose. It's difficult to mop, too. I think smaller tiles would look nicer. Something like this by Oceanside Glasstile. (great photo, eh?)

I'd like to put on a carport, but I don't think I can do it legally. The posts would end up too close to the property line. It would be nice to have my bikes outside and have them dry, though. Maybe a small lean-to under the window.

I'd like to get a bigger overhang for the back door. Would be helpful when it rains. I'd like something similar to the one over the front door but a tad smaller.

I also had the idea to put down some decking at the foot of the front steps. I'd like it to cover the asphalt and the lawn from the bottom step towards where I was standing when I took this pic.

I need to find a contractor, prioritize the projects (back door first, bathroom floor second, all other projects whenever) and save my pennies.

Fortune: Working out the kinks today will make for a better tomorrow.

Oh My 'Lanta

Photos from the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

Fortune: You'll always be surrounded by true friends.