More Chronicles of Bah!

Today boss told me it wanted to review my evaluation with me. I said, "Okay. How about this afternoon?" It agreed.

Boss managed to be busy doing other things all day. Twenty-five minutes before my departure time boss asked if I'd like to do the review now. Note: it takes boss an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes (on a good day). I said, "No, let's do it tomorrow."

Boss went on blubbering about the evaluation forms stating no one receives Above Standard ratings unless they do outstanding work and have been with the company for many years. And added, "You really can't give a new employee an Above Standard rating because then they have nothing to strive for."

Are you for fudgin' real, boss!?

Boss proceeded to tell me I'm an outstanding employee and I'll probably have a bunch of Above Standard ratings on next year's evaluation. What about this year, you idiot!?

Then boss had the nerve to ask coworker and I if we were pleased with our increases. (Everyone got a 2.3% cost of living increase - supposedly.) We both commented on how it's not really an increase since the cost of everything else is up. It's only about 20 bucks more a week before taxes, so it's not a whole heck of a lot.

So then boss says something along the lines of, "I didn't put in for merit increases for anyone because gibberish blah nonsense gotta fill out a form." And I say, "Uh. What? What is the procedure for merit increases?"

This is what boss does. Boss says a bunch of words I know and understand, but strings them together in ways that make absolutely no sense. Most of the time boss stammers and then stops mid sentence before going off on some unrelated tangent.

I asked boss again to explain. More nonsensical strings of words.

We'll have to hire an interpreter. Now we're never gonna get those increases.

Fortune: Never tell employee you didn't put in for merit raise - she apt to spit in tasty coffee she make for you.