Sunday, March 11, 2007

Love & Loafing

I've discovered why the personal ads in one particular city are better than the ones 'round here - format. Atlanta's Creative Loafing format includes witty and sarcastic answers. It covers broader types of people and has a less uptight feel. It also has a fill-in-the-blank and "take sides" section, which definitely tells you more about a person.
Some highlights -

Looking For:
No Preference
Friends
Friends with benefits
Some Action
Casual Dating
Long-term Relationship

Bod:
No Preference
Petite
Average
Full-Figured
Slender
Muscular
Curvaceous
Stocky
Wiry
Big & Beautiful
Height/Weight Proportionate
A Few Extra Pounds
Need the Gym
Beer Gut
Overweight
Decomposing

Locks:
No Preference
Platinum
Blonde
Red
Light Brown
Dark Brown
Black
Grey
White
Multi-Colored
Crayola-Colored
It Changes
Straight
Curly
Dreads
Mohawk
Shaved
Bald
Balding
No hair, thanks for asking. I'm bald, okay?

God:
No Preference
Agnostic
Atheist
Buddhist
Christian/Catholic
Christian Scientist
Christian/Protestant
Christian/Hateful
Christian/Wacko
I am The Christ
Jewish
Muslim
Mormon
None
Pagan
Scientologist
Cruisist
Travoltaist
Spiritual, not religious
Taoist
Unitarian

Kids:
No Preference
No
Yes, living with me
Yes, living with me part-time
Yes, not living with me
Have mine!

Want Kids:
No Preference
Yes
No
Not Sure
I want children to stay away from me

Drink:
No Preference
Never
Sometimes
Socially
Often
To excess
Not enough
I'm drunk right now

Political Leanings:
No Preference
Democrat
Green
Independent
Republican
Libertarian
Communist
Socialist
Whig
Merkin
Agnostic
Far Left
Hard Left
Soft Left
Nothing Left
Leftie
Right-Winger
Liberal
Moderate
Conservative
Christian Conservative
Fiscal Conservative
Neo-Con
Kinky

Get Around Town:
No Preference
Car
MARTA
Bicycle
Motorcycle
Scooter
Skateboard
Walk
Taxi
Limo
Segway

Spend Free Time:
No Preference
Reading
Creating
Drinking
Smoking dope
Playing sports
I'm in prison
Clubbing
Working out
Sex
Watching movies
Watching TV
Shopping
Dining out
Sleeping
Working
Biking
Traveling
What free time?

Fill In the Blank:
I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are and
My favorite part of town is and my favorite thing to do there is
Something I said I'd never do but did anyway was
My ideal mate would have the brain of and the body of
It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm
The quickest way to my heart is The quickest way to my bed is And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked
When I die, I believe I will go
I wouldn't be who I am if
I wouldn't sell for a billion dollars.
If people are what they eat, is a
If I could have any super hero power, it would be and I would use it

Take Sides:
Starbucks or Aurora Coffee
Centennial Park or Piedmont Park
Zoo Atlanta or Georgia Aquarium
CD or MP3
The Majestic or Waffle House
Hawks or Thrashers
Leopard Lounge or Lenny's
Six Flags or Stone Mountain
Shoemakers' Warehouse or Abbadabba's
Lenox or Phipps
Wireless or Landline
Little 5 Points or Atlantic Station


I think there are some folks that still end up with pretty bad ads - they don't do well filling in the blanks. I'll post some interesting ones this week.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ohhhmygoodness. That was too long of a list. I'm no spelling wizzard think you mean lockes. : p

Z said...

I know - but you gotta be specific when you're lookin' for love in all the wrong places...
You better check out your dictionary, mister wizz.